My writing got published on SunStar Weekend last Sunday. It was amusing but also very embarrassing. Do you know how it is with actors who can’t stand watching themselves on screen? How looking at themselves through the eyes of an audience makes them cringe and squirm with discomfort? That is me, but with published work, most especially with very personal pieces that you never really think would go anywhere.
So why publish then? Why go through the ordeal of looking at all the ways your piece has gone wrong, or why this line isn’t working, and suddenly seeing ways to improve a sentence or a point after the fact? Why open yourself up to the world?
It’s probably hubris – a tiny voice in you that dreams a little more than being read by a handful of friends. It’s probably just wanting to write about the painful things and later realizing that these deep, painful things that always felt like yours and yours alone, are part of a bigger, grander pain that are endured by other people too.
Writing has always been therapeutic to me, it has always comforted me and made me feel less lonely. In the process of sharing my experiences with the world, I hope I made other people feel less lonely too.